When I need to write the most, is when I tend to write the least. What happens is, my mind moves faster than my fingers are able to write, so my words get lost. The words can’t find the paper, but they crowd in my head. They fight for a chance to be spilled into another blog, or novel, or even find a place in my private diary. These words keep me up at night; phrases, sentences, song lyrics. It’s not until I jot , down a little something that I am able to sleep. But my dreams are then filled with the words I was unable to fully release. So I wake up in the morning with the intent to write some more, but then reality hits. I have to get ready for work & my son up for school. I’m busy all day, the words again trapped. I don’t have the time to coordinate them together so I store them for a later time. You see my mind is full it needs to be emptied, but instead I stash them away some more. This is dangerous! It’s not dangerous because there are words in my head, but dangerous because more things start happening. Bad things that I can’t control like heartbreak, things like pain, things like frustration, things that gives me a bad vibe. And this is the best time to let them out. This is the time where I need to release, because if I keep these dangerous feelings inside, it’s not healthy for me or the people around me. My mind is on back order, you see I still have those happy thoughts and those dreams and those phrases and those song lyrics and those quotes. So how can I dig into that pain letting it bleed onto paper? And how can I write about this heartbreak, trying to mend the pieces back together? How can I let go of all these damn feelings, when they’re fighting me to choose? The only answer I know is to write, but the solution is also the problem.
“Writer’s block is not the problem. The problem is not writing.”