It’s 10pm on a Thursday. What am I going to do with myself? It’s quiet. My son is sleeping, probably dreaming about becoming a world’s famous artist. ‘His paint brushes, delicately grace his canvas, as he paints family portraits, animals, just about anything to express his creativity. Then, he sits down on the floor, legs crossed like a pretzel, coloring with markers in his favorite coloring book. Once he realizes the markers bleed through the page, he’ll dish the markers for color pencils. Then he smiles, appreciating those color pencils that don’t bleed, but instead create masterpieces. He calls out for my approval and I cheer as his biggest fan. I must feed his dream; night or day.’

It’s 10:01pm on a Thursday. What am I going to do with myself? The house is cleaned, for once in a long while. It’s hard to sweep and scrub a floor when you daily agenda, is filled with so much more. You can’t dust off those picture frames, or wipe down hard to reach places, when there’s not enough time in the day, to accomplish all you need to. But my time has become plentiful, as I rearranged my plate. Resetting my priorities to get where I needed to be. Peace has greeted me, and happiness has returned. My home and my soul is back in order.

It’s 10:02pm on a Thursday. What am I going to do with myself? Eat! I grab my butter pecan ice cream from out the fridge, get a spoon and return to the sofa. One spoonful, sends my taste buds into heaven, I know I’ll regret it. Next week: when I’m trying on my favorite jeans, and can’t quite pull them over my hips. I’ll start jumping and squatting, forcing them up. Then, I’ll stand in the mirror looking at my tummy. Full of stretch marks, that send me back to memories of bearing my son. Then, I’ll grip my belly fat, that can’t be confused with baby fat, since my kid is 7 years old now. I’ll remember my slimmer days and make a vow to “snapback!” Just another empty promise, so I’ll just put the ice cream back.

It’s 10:03pm on a Thursday. What am I going to do with myself? I juggle between social media apps on my phone. Laughing at crazy videos and screenshotting heart felt memes, to repost later. Catching up on the latest celebrity gossip or whatever my followers think is a new trend. I catch myself scrolling out of habit, the page sliding by is what frees me from boredom. The swift motion of my thumb, comes to a halt, as I realize social media is a pain.

It’s 10:04pm on a Thursday. What am I going to do with myself? There’s nothing good on T.V. At least nothing I want to see. Just last Thursday, I was watching my favorite show, How to Get Away With Murder (HTGAWM). There is something about this show. How it’s written, plot-twist, and creativity. Something about, the way the actors and actresses own their characters, breathing life into me. My eyes were glued to my 50 inch, at this 2-hour Season Finale special. I was excited to uncover new mysteries, but sad that I was left with yet another cliff hanger. This show filled a void each and every Thursday night. A void that’ll remain empty until the Thursday HTGAWM Season Four returns.

It’s now 10:05pm on a Thursday and I can only wish one day…I’ll be able to fill voids with my words, not just on Thursdays, but any day of the week.

“If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.”    – Stephen King



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